Guest commentary: Too much fruitcaking could lead to a terrible networking experience for all
By Gerhard Apfelthaler and Kelly Kimball
The Christmas season is upon us, and with that the eternal challenge of selecting, giving, and receiving gifts.
Some of you might remember — or still practice — the tradition of gifting fruitcakes.
The Christmas tradition of gifting fruitcakes — dense cakes containing nuts, dried fruits, and spices — is a longstanding practice with roots stretching back to ancient Rome, but it became particularly popular in Europe in the Middle Ages.
In Victorian England, the fruitcake became a common holiday gift due to its rich ingredients and the festive appearance provided by the colorful fruits. It was seen as a treat that could be shared among many during Christmas gatherings, symbolizing prosperity and good fortune.
In the United States, fruitcakes were widely popularized in the 19th century, becoming a typical Christmas food.
Companies like the Collin Street Bakery in Texas and the Claxton Bakery in Georgia became famous for their mail-order fruitcakes, sending hundreds of thousands across the country during the holiday season.
Over time, fruitcakes garnered a somewhat humorous reputation due to their longevity and sturdiness.
The joke about fruitcakes often being re-gifted year after year stems from their ability to last for extraordinarily long periods without spoiling.
This led to the gag that no one actually ate the fruitcakes and that they were just passed on to the next recipient.
Some people even claim that there may only be one fruitcake in the entire world that keeps getting passed around.
Now, have you ever been contacted by someone you don’t really know, don’t care to get to know, or don’t know how to help?
I know that if you are on LinkedIn you have been, and if you have a wide personal network you have been as well. Busy, well-connected, high-profile professionals with extensive networks often find themselves faced with an overwhelming number of meeting requests.
They are frequently approached for advice — more frequently than they can handle and so they have no other way than to redirect such unsolicited contacts to others who also turn out to be too busy.
As a consequence, a perpetual cycle of people getting passed around without ever having any meaningful interactions starts — people are being fruitcaked!
Without any bad intent, this practice may free up one’s time, but it also dilutes the value of networking, leaving contacts feeling undervalued and overlooked.
The result is an erosion of trust, network fatigue, and value dilution. Continuous referrals without genuine interaction can lead to distrust in network relationships.
It signals a lack of genuine interest, which is fundamental to building strong professional ties.
Individuals who are constantly fruitcaked tend to experience network fatigue.
They may become cynical about the benefits of networking, potentially withdrawing from interactions that could be genuinely beneficial.
Each pass in the networking chain can dilute the potential value of the interaction.
What started as a chance for a meaningful connection becomes a superficial exchange, with diminishing returns for all parties involved.
To prevent the negative spiral of fruitcaking, one can consider a few actionable steps.
Start with leveraging social media and professional networking platforms more effectively.
Show your expertise but set clear expectations concerning your availability and educate your audience about meaningful ways to engage.
If you receive a fruitcake in the form of a networking request that you cannot fulfill, be honest and direct about it.
A polite decline is often more appreciated than a redirect to someone else.
If you do refer, explain why the referred contact is more suitable or could provide better value.
And always – ALWAYS – ask the recipient of the referral for their consent before referring someone.
Also, instead of simply passing a contact along, provide alternatives. Suggest resources, upcoming networking events, or groups that are relevant to the person’s interests.
This approach shows that you care about their networking goals, even if you’re unable to meet personally.
And if you run the risk of becoming a fruitcake, set better networking goals for yourself.
Understand what you want to achieve from your networking efforts.
Setting clear goals can help to identify which connections are most relevant and beneficial, reducing the need to trigger fruitcaking.
Fruitcaking, while often a necessity due to time constraints, can undermine the foundational goals of networking.
By recognizing this phenomenon and adopting strategies to minimize its occurrence, professionals can enhance the quality of their interactions add value to all its participants.
In doing so, the professional community can transform networking from a game of pass-the-parcel to a fruitful exchange of ideas, opportunities, and genuine connections.
Gerhard Apfelthaler is a professor and dean at the School of Management at California Lutheran University.
Kelly Kimball is a serial entrepreneur, Executive-in-Residence and Adjunct Professor at the School of Management at California Lutheran University.
